I saw it on social
media. A married girl talking to her father through video call using some emoji
feature to hide her face. She influenced her father too to use the feature
during the call. But later as the call ends, bruises... Bruises on her face. She
was beaten up by her husband but didn’t want to show. This video was put up by
National Commission for Women which stated that there has been twofold increase
in the domestic violence cases during the lockdown period.
This actually gave me
goose bumps. It still happens?? But why? Those days are gone when women were
only there to cook and be like a “baby producing machines”. Those days when they were beaten up since
they didn’t earn bread and butter for the house. Is it a good reason to beat
your wife?? May be this was the mindset that a person who brings money to house
is superior to others and thus have the right to act inhumanly with others
especially your wife. Because she is the only one who listens to you. She is
the only one upon whom you have full power and control. I remember listening to a lady at a talk show
saying that when a man is scolded by his boss, he gets angry but cant say a
word back may be because he might lose his job. On his way back to home he
doesn’t find a single person who will listen to his frustration. But as he
reaches his home, he feels that yes this is the only place and person where I
can show my “man power”, the only person in the whole universe who will help
her getting him out of this frustration and he beats her sometimes with belt,
sometimes with hockey and what not.
Things are no more
same. Today girls are studying hard and earning equally as men. They are
competing and excelling in every field. Many women take care of house, their
kids as well as go out for job and earn as handsome amount. We might think that
these women must not be victim of domestic violence. But we are wrong. This
tradition of beating wife has spread its wings in all sections of the society-
rural or urban, educated or uneducated, rich or poor. For me this more cruel
that you are burdening her with all house hold chores, the kid(s) , sending her
out to earn and on top of that you are
beating her to satisfy your stupid male ego.
One might also be of the opinion that domestic violence means beating
but we are wrong again. Physical, sexual and emotion assault also needs to be
counted. There many cases where the women is raped in marriage and this act is
justified by saying “Ye to tere pati ka
haq hai. Tu nahin degi to woh kaheen aur se jaake lega”. Even more safe way
is to assault her emotionally- “Tere ghar
gol roti nahin banti kya?”, “ sirf
ladkiyan hi paida kregi kya?”, “ Are kya karegi laal rang ki saari leke? Ye
rang to gorey rang pe achcha lagta hai aur tu to....”
If this thing is found
in all stratas of society, there must be a reason to this. The reason is “Bachchon ki parvarish”. Boys and girls who grow up watching their
fathers beating their mothers get the opinion that its ok to beat (for boys) or
being beaten up (for girls). The day a boy is born he is taught that he is
“superiorest” form of mankind, above his sisters, mothers and future wife.
Girls on the other hand grow up being told “Tumnhe
dusre ghar jaana hai, Ghar ki izzat rakhni hai”. This Ghar ki izzat makes her life hell.She gets beaten up but because of
this ghar ki izzat she remains quite
since she has seen her mother too going through this. She never tells anyone
what she goes through.
In Indian sub-continent
girls infused with the idea “Bhalaa hai, bura hai, jesa bhi hai, Mera
pati mera devta hai”. Recently a came across a song named Dua-e-reem which
said-“Dhamkiyan de toh tasalli hoke
thappad na pada, Pade thappad to karun shukar ke joota nau hua”. These are
the suggestions given by folk singers to the bride-to-be regarding her post
marriage life. Are these things we need to teach our daughters? Girls are
taught to “compromise” what so ever happens. But unfortunately they are not
taught about the extent of this compromise. There are umpteen number of
promotional videos, audios etc which try to educate people about domestic
violence. But I don’t know how much it helps the society.
It is high time we as a
part of this society educate our sons and daughters in a correct way. Teach
them that every human has its own importance- man or woman. Moreover, girls
need to be taught to speak up. Speak up for anything bad that happens to you
and give her an assurance that her every decision will be respected by her
parents.
Lastly, one should not
forget that domestic violence against men is also true. Though the percentage
of people going through this is very small, hence not in limelight.The idea of feminism
is misinterpreted and used illogically. Thus we being an integral part of this
vast society need to take up this job of proper upbringing of our kids for their better future
